Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Some People Can't

CAN'T, this is a word that is forbidden in my home and in my cheerleading classes. It simply isn't necessary when describing oneself. It can be used to describe objects, "the nail cannot hold the picture". I was listening to a radio talk show today and heard the host say this sentence, "Some people can't." Shockingly, I agreed.

I agree with this sentence when you are in a position of rationalizing OTHER PEOPLE'S behavior or lack thereof. In other words, have a realistic expectation of other people's behavior based upon their past actions, NOT based upon your personal feelings. For example, my girlfriend will likely be late because she always is, but not my girlfriend will likely be late because nobody thinks I am important. Get it?

There were two analogies the host used that I thought were useful:
  1. Do you take your cat on a walk with a leash? No because cats don't like that.
  2. You can't use a bone dry sponge to soak up water, it has to be slightly wet.

Sometimes we expect people to do something that they historically have chosen not to do and then we are upset because they don't. The cat? Or maybe we expect people to be able to do something that they have no skills to do and then we are upset that they cannot. The sponge?

The talk show host was speaking of adult child-parent relationships in both of these matters. Sad that so many people suffer in their adult lives expecting something from a parent that has never happened and likely will never happen. We cannot expect an absent father to suddenly want to be involved in our lives. We cannot expect emotionally unavailable mothers to suddenly become that. If we have a reasonable expectation of people and get our needs met through other relationships in our lives, we can find peace.

Ask God to bring you a father-person or mother-person (or whoever-person) to fill a need in your life. Don't set yourself up for continual hurt by having unrealistic expectations from loved ones.

FIND PEACE because some people can't.

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